Mighty Jill Off

So the other day one of my bros sent me this game, which to my understanding appears to be a BDSM-inspired indie platformer.

Let this image set the precedent for the entirety of this gaming experience.

Mighty Jill Off, the story of a chubby dyke in full bondage regalia, is probably the weirdest game of its type that I've played since "I Wanna Be The Guy". The object as you play the titular Jill, defender of an unnamed medieval watchtower is to well, jump over obstacles at the Queen's behest. From what I gather the Queen is some sort of sadist who enjoys sending her minions to the depths of an 8-bit dungeon and if they survive are rewarded with the privilege of licking her boots. S&M. Weird shit.

These bastards will fuck you up in more ways than Dirty Harry could with an ear in his eye and his duodenum being ravaged by that Scorpio asshole.

Now I'm honestly not the greatest fan of 8-bit indie releases, but if a game can give me quick, simple entertainment with catchy music to boot I generally have a very hard time complaining about it. There's no ulterior developer agenda, no constant nagging for donations, just a game about jumping written by a group of people who probably used to work as porn store cashiers and got kicked out for being pricks and popping the inflatable love dolls. Now that I've hopefully conveyed to you what exactly you are going to be doing with your spare time for the next 10 minutes or so the game mechanics and the actual download for the game itself may be found here. I noticed my CPU time shot up considerably while playing it but unless you're on some laptop from 2004 with cooling fan ball bearings that sound like a million dying insects you should be fine. If nothing else, it certainly made me forget about the odd pain in my nuts I've had since Tuesday.